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a journey not to be forgotten. ♥

Friday, May 19, 2006
无奈者 posted at 4:39 PM

u know.. these 2 days.. I got the feeling that my life wun be interesting, wun be full of twists, wun be exciting and wun be challenging.. even if it do have twists, it will most likely be bad twists.. nothing to be proud of, nothing to look forward to.. which means.. I had nothing to look forward to in life.. and the more I think of it, the more I believe it.. hahaz.. how great..

am really down this week.. and will even be downer next week.. I expect.. dun ask me y I am so depressed.. I can't give u a definite answer.. it is made up of lots of factors.. small ones, big ones, impt ones, unimpt ones.. wth..(I seldom swear in front of ppl..but let me do it this once..)

Now, I truly believe when there are ups, there will be downs.. and when u r at the peak of ur happiness, sadness will soon come.. so.. actually.. happiness is nothing to look forward to anyway.. get it huh?

realised how pathetic I am.. I have a big clique.. have quite a number of close friends yet when I need a listening ear, I dunno who to turn to.. everyone seems unsuitable, unavailable.. pls dun after read my blog if u do read after all come and ask me whether I am ok anot.. cos the answer will surely be yes no matter wat.. how can I say no? even if I say no, what can u say to me? lol..

have been thinking.. a few years back, I dunno what I like doing and dun care abt what I was doing cos the qns did not popped up to me then.. I was happy then.. really.. cos whenever I go down memory lane, I can only recall the happy times then.. there weren't a tint of sadness..

now.. I still haven't discovered what I like doing but I do have some rough idea abt it.. but prob is of all the things I had done over these 2 years, barely some are of my interests.. the rest are of commitments or for convenience and fu1 yan3ing.. In fact, I didn't acheive anything at all.. u see that?? there isn't something that I had done will make me rmb and be proud of it.. it could just simply be the taking up of a musical instrument, the learning of one foregin language or just trying out new things that I wun try before.. but I hadn't done any of that..

I wish I can:
(not ranked accordingly)

get along well with everybody, just like what I had done before..
write a sucessful piece of song lyrics
learn piano
take up korean language
watch the hk show on police recruits
watch all interesting korean shows
learn the drums
curb my cycling phobia
get together with S.H.I.T if there's a chance
I really miss Simin, Tracy and Vanessa.. how I wish time can go back to JT days with S.H.I.T in the JT classroom chatting.. or back to GR days where I have Puay Yee, Xue Ying, Vanessa and Simin..
punch a punchbag
widen my social circle and know more friends of different nationalities
maybe learn tkd cos it is a korean form of martial arts

pretty simple isn't it.. but i didn't really get to fulfil any of that.. again.. I can only blame myself..
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