luv the weather today.. cooling.. u dun need to switch on the fan at all.. lol..
had a long long talk with angel just now.. talked abt a lot of issues.. life can be pretty taxing isn't it? Btw, have u planned for ur future and how far ahead had u planned? What I wanna say is, things, all of the time go against our wishes.. maybe there isn't a need to plan for them to happen at all.. lol..
very tired now.. if it weren't for the supper my bro just cooked, I would have lie on my bed snoring away..
yawnz..
wanted to watch 'gong'.. but I am scared tat today's episode will be very sad, so I decided to give it a miss..
real long didn't update.. not that I dun want.. but my inspirations come in pieces.. all too tweeny for an article.. and sometimes, the idea or tots are fresh at first but when u decided to put them into words, they become meaningless..
Life recently is.. life loh.. sleep, eat, study, watch tv.. However, had been very down initially.. I am still not very ok now but at least, I am getting better..
I heard frm one of the tv dramas: We get to lose the courage to do things as we grow up.. Because our worries and concerns are more than before.. All these stop us, in a way or another.. It is just like all of us eager to learn how to walk when we are young because we do not know of such a thing as failure. We do not care about falling down. So wat if we fall down? We stand up. However, things are different when factors like ego, fear of failure comes in.
I believe.. I do believe the above is true.. These few days, I had been wondering how much stress can I take, how much sadness can I feel and how much more problems and worries I can handle.. Where is the limit where we are going to break down? Everytime when u tot u have reached ur max, have u? People always appear to be stronger than they believed themselves to be..
I really wonder where has my courage gone.. Optimism is really hard to achieve.
anyway, last year, I kept complaining that I had lost my old self and is eager to find it back.. Now then I realised.. I had actually lost it long ago without the hope of retrieving it back. What's gone is gone.. and the 'new' me will be the 'old' me in time to come.
Well, JC life left me lots and lots of regrets which if I can turn back time, I would turn these regrets into accomplishments.. Sadly, it is all too late for regrets..
x.i.n.h.u.i