凝固的回忆

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

无奈者 posted at 5:33 PM | 0 Noticed Me

TVB《学警雄心》主题曲
作曲：郭力行填词：高皓正
主唱：郭力行+高皓正+吴卓羲+Sky 合唱

共命运较量
望著目标不需要理风向
这次跌低总会有下一场
你有我不必怕会追不上

为愿望发亮
若是未尽力掌声也拍不响
永远也不反悔才是坚强
有志气一起向天开一枪
从来无悔
我这理想挥之不去
以斗志将伤口过滤
以你决心去为明天写下创举

滚汗水
错与对几多的差距
有勇气不应该畏惧
那裏有黑暗便和你燃亮它

全力追

活著就算呼吸都是为了挑战
从前难关今天实现
我确信
这天空都改变
这志向最终也不变
现实就算多艰辛
并未退缩
成功灰心只差一线
要带著信心
未惧下雨天
仍然无悔我共你冲线

very happy today.. found 2 pieces of lyrics that I really like.. esp this song.. lyrics is extremely motivating. The tune isn't nice exactly but full of fighting spirit..haaz.. dedicate it to all of u, my friends! Jiayou for JCT together!

为愿望发亮, 若是未尽力掌声也拍不响..
永远也不反悔才是坚强
我确信..这天空都改变..这志向最终也不变
现实就算多艰辛, 并未退缩成功灰心只差一线, 要带著信心未惧下雨天.. 仍然无悔我共你冲线! yup, that's us!!

无奈者 posted at 10:24 AM | 0 Noticed Me

再见李玖哲

电话还在响
我有些心慌
熟悉的号码
在挣扎
故作的坚强
虚伪的力量
撑过这一刻
更悲伤
没接的电话
是一种惩罚
不该想却割舍不下
如果再见我
你能说什么
说爱我或只是寂寞
原谅我冷漠选择不联络
因为我担心你会听见我
还那么难过
短讯声在响
凌晨两点半惊醒的房里更孤单
一句睡了吗
像你的习惯
这夜晚为你而混乱
因为对你我连再见都说不出口
我想你能懂爱还在心中

如果再见, 你我能说什么? 原谅我冷漠, 选择不联络..因为..我..担心你会听见我..还那么难过.. gd lyrics..

无奈者 posted at 9:58 AM | 0 Noticed Me

went to watch x-men 3 yesterday with our clique.. pretty interesting.. the characters were pretty cool although I failed to remember their names..lol.. but I like storm the best.. esp her hair..lol.. and no wonder I found magneto familiar.. tink he acted as the cripple in da vinci code if I am not wrong..lol.. some of the parts in the movie are pretty hilarious and stupid too.. I like the part when Wolverine tried to attack magneto head on as a smokescreen actually his teammate is trying to attack magneto from behind.. Wolverine of cos was stopped by magneto..

Magneto says.. ' u never learn..'
Wolverine, lying on the ground, smiled and replied.' well, actually I do..'
lol.. then the blue blue ambassdor sprung up behind him and injected the medicine, turning magneto into a normal human being.. lol.. that part is so funny that I was laughing like mad..

after tat we went TM and had lots of fun in Toy-r-us.. lol.. really lots of fun.. never knew toys can be so fun even at our age..

had enough fun.. supposed to start mugging today le..

(just found x-men 2 in my living room..lol.. maybe going to watch it if I am free)

Sunday, May 28, 2006

无奈者 posted at 2:30 PM | 0 Noticed Me

just chanced upon my isolation letter from the doctor last year when finding my notes just now.. it is dated 05/10/05..

In it, it states:
To: teacher I/C

got a sticker tag stating my particulars..

Xin Hui has a fever. We are awaiting blood tests regarding dengue fever. In the meantime please allow her to take her exam isolated from other students.

Thank You.

Dr Loong..

re-reading this letter brought back lots of memories.. gd and bad ones.. it has been nearly 8 months afetr my encounter.. and it feels like I had just recovered from the bite..

when I visited Siu Lun, it sort of trigger memories of my dengue encounter.. I vividly remember crying and crying everyday, pestering the nurses to let me go out.. I shouted and sobbed but I just couldn't be out cos my blood count was dropping.. the next few days was terrible.. couldn't eat.. kept vomitting, got dehydrated and have lots of blood tests.. the blood tests results anounced every afternoon was a torture when the hopes of ur blood count increasing was shattered.. until.. I begin to tot I am gg to die.. I rmb I asked my mom that.. Mum, will I die? I guess that must have saddened her.. she was very tired then yet she had to comfort me.. thanks to her really for being with me for the whole process, running between 2 places, the hosptial and her workplace.. had been hard for her.. when u r really in a uncomfortable environment, even a day would seems like a week.. luckily.. blood count starts increasing and I was out in no time..

I will forever rmb the day I was discharged.. on the cab out of the CDC.. on my way home.. I never felt so relieved before.. every sight I saw was so wonderful.. when I got home, I felt like I hadn't gone home for years.. lol.. and needless to say I enjoyed every minute at home for the next week..

8 mths after.. another major exam is now coming up.. hahaz.. how have my life been in the 8 mths? I guess I already had the answer.. in my heart.. *grins*

Friday, May 26, 2006

无奈者 posted at 12:40 AM | 0 Noticed Me

just get to know that yt is down with high fever.. take care gal.. sorry for not noticing it earlier.. really sorry..

went to watch da vinci code with shawn and ying yesterday.. lol.. first time I watch such a serious show.. really.. cos abt religious beliefs.. I may not noe much abt Christanity, not noe how much truth is present in the movie but I got a feeling that it is slandering Christanity to a bigger extent.. and the story plot was sure complicated that I think Dan Brown isn't human.. cos his brain must be too complex to write such a story plot..lol..

then went jes's hse today.. watched lots of tv!! muahahaha.. I was practically occupying the tv for my own use..lol..

siulun is not ard.. sch is weird without him.. bball session is weird without him.. clique outing is weird without him.. he is really of such importance in our bunch friends.. gosh.. maybe like what angel say.. maybe we really take each other for granted.. at least for now.. haiz..

Friday, May 19, 2006

无奈者 posted at 4:39 PM | 0 Noticed Me

u know.. these 2 days.. I got the feeling that my life wun be interesting, wun be full of twists, wun be exciting and wun be challenging.. even if it do have twists, it will most likely be bad twists.. nothing to be proud of, nothing to look forward to.. which means.. I had nothing to look forward to in life.. and the more I think of it, the more I believe it.. hahaz.. how great..

am really down this week.. and will even be downer next week.. I expect.. dun ask me y I am so depressed.. I can't give u a definite answer.. it is made up of lots of factors.. small ones, big ones, impt ones, unimpt ones.. wth..(I seldom swear in front of ppl..but let me do it this once..)

Now, I truly believe when there are ups, there will be downs.. and when u r at the peak of ur happiness, sadness will soon come.. so.. actually.. happiness is nothing to look forward to anyway.. get it huh?

realised how pathetic I am.. I have a big clique.. have quite a number of close friends yet when I need a listening ear, I dunno who to turn to.. everyone seems unsuitable, unavailable.. pls dun after read my blog if u do read after all come and ask me whether I am ok anot.. cos the answer will surely be yes no matter wat.. how can I say no? even if I say no, what can u say to me? lol..

have been thinking.. a few years back, I dunno what I like doing and dun care abt what I was doing cos the qns did not popped up to me then.. I was happy then.. really.. cos whenever I go down memory lane, I can only recall the happy times then.. there weren't a tint of sadness..

now.. I still haven't discovered what I like doing but I do have some rough idea abt it.. but prob is of all the things I had done over these 2 years, barely some are of my interests.. the rest are of commitments or for convenience and fu1 yan3ing.. In fact, I didn't acheive anything at all.. u see that?? there isn't something that I had done will make me rmb and be proud of it.. it could just simply be the taking up of a musical instrument, the learning of one foregin language or just trying out new things that I wun try before.. but I hadn't done any of that..

I wish I can:
(not ranked accordingly)

get along well with everybody, just like what I had done before..
write a sucessful piece of song lyrics
learn piano
take up korean language
watch the hk show on police recruits
watch all interesting korean shows
learn the drums
curb my cycling phobia
get together with S.H.I.T if there's a chance
I really miss Simin, Tracy and Vanessa.. how I wish time can go back to JT days with S.H.I.T in the JT classroom chatting.. or back to GR days where I have Puay Yee, Xue Ying, Vanessa and Simin..
punch a punchbag
widen my social circle and know more friends of different nationalities
maybe learn tkd cos it is a korean form of martial arts

pretty simple isn't it.. but i didn't really get to fulfil any of that.. again.. I can only blame myself..

Thursday, May 18, 2006

无奈者 posted at 7:52 PM | 0 Noticed Me

sometimes I just got the impression that I am reverting back to my old self again.. and all I have is myself to blame..

I got into trouble with teachers AGAIN.. and I felt that I hadn't been really doing much evry night.. it is like a routine of gg home, watch tv then sleep.. at this point of time, I really feel I shld do something..haiz..

and there are simply some things which u care abt but u force urself not to tink abt it cos it has been on ur mind for too long and it is simply too irritating taking up place in your mind.. and the wonderful thing is just when u tot u dun care abt it, u happen to realise that it actually matters to you.. wat the.. i really hate myself.. n to my troubles: PLEASE GO AWAY!

Monday, May 15, 2006

无奈者 posted at 1:38 AM | 0 Noticed Me

really tired.. came back frm CO concert at SCH a few hours ago but I still have no intention to sleep..

the concert was great.. just that we gave the usher quite a lot of probs.. and I was really touched by the conductor.. he is really gd with his words although yt says he memorise the script for very long..lol.. he said this which made me extremely touched..

" I kept telling myself I am very xing fu.. cos I had in my possession such a great orchestra group.."

wah.. when I heard this, even I the audience is touched.. so imagine how touched the CO members will be..

and how come every performance I go to.. I will be impressed by their conductors? lol.. I like our TJ conductor for his way with words.. I like VJ de for his conducting style.. both have their strengths..

got to log off now.. so tired.. wanna zzz... le.. but haven't study bio mock yet..haiz..

Friday, May 12, 2006

无奈者 posted at 12:27 AM | 0 Noticed Me

I am really very tired today.. got a hectic schedule today.. and things happen as usual..happy and unhappy ones..shan't say it here..

just came back frm ying's CO concert.. I decided.. their beloved conductor Mr Quek Ling Kiong is my new idol!! muahahahaz.. since last year, I had liked his style of conducting on stage.. and this year had even further proven it.. shld see how he conducts.. he looks like he is enjoying every minute of it and of cos he made every audience enjoy too..hahs.. and ying, well done!! kudos to shawn and van too! u all performed well in synergy too!! (",)

I feel so tired.. really feel like sleeping till noon tomolo.. hope that helps..

Monday, May 08, 2006

无奈者 posted at 7:55 AM | 0 Noticed Me

am packing my bag now.. gtg prepare for dental appointment later.. haaz.. ls smsed me... she is also not in sch today..

I tink I am crazy.. I really tink it is a beautiful day day today.. here I am, looking at the big bright sun hanging up in mid-air.. and the rays of sunlight hitting on every corner of the room!! on my messy bed, my untidy study table.. my pinky purplish walls, my com and on me!! lol!! Suddenly, I feel energised.. and full of life! honestly, I had never appreciated a morning like this.. I had never known a morning to be so full of energy, so inspirational, so motivational..

Ahh, It's a beautiful day!!!! I dun care whether I may be scolded by my dentist for not wearing my retainers regularly later, or there will be comprehension to do during GP lesson.. or anything else!! Today is a great day and tat's it!! muahahahahaa..

a pity my camera no batt le... can't take pics with it.. if not, I would surely snap a pic or 2 of this lengendary beautiful morning.. haaz..

suddenly, I dun feel like gg out.. I feel like cooping in my room to enjoy this whole morning alone..

Sunday, May 07, 2006

无奈者 posted at 3:17 PM | 0 Noticed Me

?????..

无奈者 posted at 3:05 PM | 0 Noticed Me

the deep blue sky.. the deep blue sea..

Saturday, May 06, 2006

无奈者 posted at 4:05 PM | 0 Noticed Me

went to the beach yesterday.. as usual the beach.. but the beach is real nice yesterday.. got chunks and chunks of clouds floating in the halfsky.. haaz.. and i took lots of photos of it.. pity cnt upload.. can only upload some.. shall upload the only 1 pic after I finished this..

heard frm yt yesterday that kah hui went poly.. honestly, i am very unwilling to touch on this issue.. cos the tot of me nearly gg there really breaks me down.. but still.. I find it very ke xi.. I may have not known him well but he is very friendly.. and I was very happy for him when he and simin both got into council.. that time I really felt like they had done CCHS proud.. and I still rmb how I drew on his council nomination name tag when I went back to NY after the 1st 3 mths.. haaz.. We didn't noe each other in our 4 years in CCHS.. yet we came to noe one another in NYJC.. how we noe each other.. is thru the CNY rehearsals and programme that we have.. haaz.. that time is fun.. I still rmb si ping, kit sen, shu yee, edwin and lots of friends made there.. although not in contact, but the days constitute a piece of jigsaw puzzle in my memories..

Memories are pieces of jigsaw puzzle pieced up together.. each piece is different.. of different shapes and shades of colors just like they signifies the fun times we had with our friends then frm the different growing up stages..but in the end, they will all piece up to form a breathtaking pic..

Kah Hui, I sincerely hope that u can find ur piece of sky in the poly.. and most imptly, have a most colourful piece of jigsaw puzzle.. take care..

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

无奈者 posted at 6:33 PM | 0 Noticed Me

i dunno how long all these can last..

but i hope it can be forever..

hmm.. nono..

shldn't be too greedy..

for as long as possible ba.. : )

may I love my life as much as I do now..

gambatae! (i tink i spell wrongly.. (",) )