recently felt tat I am in more control of my life.. perhaps the self help bks helps.. lol. Never take happiness for granted.. tat could be my quote of life recently.. lol. Realised a lot of things recently.. did some thinking.. and felt I have become emotionally stronger and becoming aware of the choices I can make for my life, I feel better in control of me, myself and my future..
everyone has their own share of fears at any point of time.. fear of the uncertainity, fear of the future, fear of all sorts.. me too.. I had my fears.. I will not list it out here.. but I really hope I can be someone who can face up to them bravely.. I wanna be someone I can be proud of myself..
the paragraphs below are some words dedicated to my family.. They have added more meaning of the word 'family' in my dictionary.. the understanding u have shown in the spate of events that happen recently had touched me greatly.. Family used to be defined as ppl closest to me.. but recently the tolerance and understanding u all have shown to a daughter, a sister made me feel like family can be be more than that.. they can be ur friends, there can be no generation gaps, no taboo issues between us.. we can voice everything out without the dear of offending who.. becos we all noe it is for the gd of him/her.. As a body comprising of 4 members, I guess the respect, freedom and concern we have shown for each other is most probably the factors that bridge our gaps together..
Mummy, I grumbled abt working life to u everyday.. and I know you took me seriously.. as always.. I know my words must be weighing on ur mind.. I can see tat u r trying very hard to console me tat my contract is ending and tat I will not be working soon.. I love the way u respect and not interfere in my decision not to extend my contract and the way u tell me not to be in despair as work will end soon.. u can't imagine how touched I felt then.. I know u are not having an easy time working too.. and I am really sorry I poured my woes to u.. unlike me, u can't quit just becos u feel like it.. and I tink I have influenced my negative thinking on u.. but I will try my hardest to be ur good gal frm now on.. thanks Mummy.. u felt like a friend to me more than a mother.. and it makes me proud to have u as my mummy.. I am telling myself I wanna be a mother like u when I become one in future..
Daddy, although I have been very bad tempered recently.. (maybe I have always been so..) but I know how much u loved me.. and thanks for fetching me after work be it on OT days or normal working days.. I am sorry each time u have to wait for 1 hour plus just to fetch me.. u could simply use the time to go home and get some rest.. maybe we both dunno how to express our love for one another but ur actions as a doting father are really more than sufficient.. I can feel strongly for every bit of it.. also, u may be unaware but I love asking u qns abt life and reality.. because I never fail to find surprises in ur answers.. I can't say how much I love u but I know u guys are ppl I would rather sacrifice myself than let u guys come to harm..
Bro, noe u r pretty stressed out recently with the long working hours.. saw ur msn nick too, I understand ur tiredness.. but dun worry, it will end soon.. we are having some conflicts before tat.. pretty serious I would say but I am glad things turn out good after tat.. maybe till now u dun understand my outburst but thanks for ur forgiveness.. sometimes I just wonder, an unreasonable sis like me, if I dun have a bro like u, how terrible will life be.. so thanks for everything u have done frm young, all the way frm the material things u have given up just to pacify me to the big heartedness u have shown in tolerating my absurd behaviour..
x.i.n.h.u.i